Just hangin

Today has been a really lazy kind of day. I'm not doing anything really. I went to the grocery store with my son, Gibson. We bought some junk food and soda's. We've just kind of hung out since we got gome. It's really awesome. We've had nacho's and smore's. Getting ready to check out and see if Netflix has anything good streaming to the Tivo.

It's been a pretty good pain day. My rear end hurts but I'll live. Hoping this is going to be a pattern.

Iron Man 2

This movie is awesome. Doesn't hurt any that Robert Downey Jr. is HOT. I want to go see it again. I didn't find my Mother's windchimes in time, but today we went out to lunch and I stopped at a flower shop before going and there they were. The chimes I had been looking for. They sound so pretty. She was very happy with them.

My husband, Chris, and youngest son, Gibson, went out to the farm today. They had fun. Big bombfire and fishing at the lake. I think they plan on going more often now.

Mother's Day

I've been shopping today. Man does my back hurt after that. I still haven't found the windchimes I want to get for my Mother yet. I'll find it in the morning before I see her. My husband and sons are taking me out to dinner and then we are going to see Iron Man 2. It's going to be fun. I’m also participating in a contest at Best Kids Apps, a blog about iPhone apps for kids, for a chance to win an iPad, because what mother doesn't want an iPad? Hope something good happens tomorrow. Maybe a painfree day. Probably not, but I'm hoping.

Read a book

I just read a great book. It's called the Seven Year Bitch. It hasn't been released yet, I won an advanced copy from goodreads.com. The book is about marriage and children. A womans struggle to decide what is best in her life. Should she stay in a marriage that she isn't happy in? Should she cheat with a man that she lost her chance with years ago? I wasn't real happy with her decision to cheat at judging contests, but what can you say. I guess it happens. Her relationship with her son was sweet and her struggles to justify having a nanny were interesting.

Tired Update

Ok I haven't updated in a little while but I'm just so tired. My pain isn't horrible but it can be debilitating. I'm not hitting the high levels I was. I haven't had a 9 in about 4 weeks so that is good anyway. I think I'm just truely mentally drug down. I need a break from the pain. Like I said it isn't high, just constant. I'm getting a burning in my right buttocks and down the leg some. I haven't told the doctor yet, I don't think it will change anything at this time. I'm going to stick with the plan of seeing him again in about 5 more months, unless the pain spikes high again.

All in all I still say the surgery was a success. I love my surgeon, he gives me hope. I am better than I was before surgery. I can actually go shopping sometimes.

Ok now to the part of my post of what I've been doing to take my mind off the pain. I joined Netflix, I'm just gonna try it out for a couple months and see if I like it. I watched Stop Loss last night. I cried, OMG, how sad is it to see our solders treated this way. How can we say we have no draft when we are selecting solders to go back after their contract is up. In all of the economy crude I believe we as a country have forgotten about the men and women we have over there. Everyone is worried about healthcare and these people are worried about coming home in one piece.

Well enough of my disjointed, unconnected, difficult to understand ramblings for now.

Easter is OVER

I don't really like Easter. I haven't for 21 years. My oldest son was born on Jan 22, 1989. He was 2 months early and spent 1 month in the hospital. He was a beautiful baby, and I can still remember his smell. (odd the things you remember) They let him come home from the hospital when he was 5lbs. It was great, he was healthy, and gaining weight like you wouldn't believe. It all came crashing down on March 25th. He was just 2 months old. He passed away from SIDS while I slept. I feel guilty to this day that I was asleep when he passed away. Anyway that year it was the day before Easter and for that reason I hate Easter. Enough of the history lesson.

I have always made holiday's good for my surviving children. Even when I feel like crude and I'm depressed, I've gotten really good at not letting them see me upset over it. Ok so this year we go to my in-laws house for Easter dinner. I find out that maybe I'm not as good at hiding it as I thought. I'm in a lot of pain today and doing my best to ignore it. Unfortunately my father-in-law saw it almost immediately. So then I'm subjected to the can't you change jobs, or haven't you been there long enough that they will put you in a less physical job. What do you tell someone that is just obviously trying to look out for you? I spent several hours just trying to deflect the conversation to something else. So now, I'm in pain, depressed, and so very tired from trying to pretend I'm fine.

At least my kids are happy and I'm still stubborn enough to keep working and providing them the future they deserve. I just hope one day they appreciate all I've given so they can have what they need.

Reading On the Kindle

I don't have an actual Kindle, I wish I did. I do have the program on my computer and have read several books on it. It distracts me for awhile. I enjoy romance novels a lot. Right now I'm getting ready to start Pride and Prejudice. I don't normally do long books but it looks interesting and on the Kindle it doesn't take a lot of space up. I just finished reading Kiss Me Deadly. Vampires, werewolves, witches and romance. It's an interesting mix, not to mention throwing the Devil in for good measure. Is there a better villian then the Devil in a romance? Michele Hauf is the author of the series. Creative fantasy type of book. Great to read, and hard to stop reading.

I've gotten all of my books from Amazon for the Kindle. I downloaded the computer program from Amazon also. They have a huge selection of any kind of book you like. I haven't went to the medical type books yet. I'm really trying not to investigate hardware problems and fusion failure yet. Trying to think positive. My body will adjust to the hardware if I just give it a little more time.