Disappointing DR appointment

I went to the doctor on Thursday.  It didn't go exactly as I hoped.  I am healing well, the bone is growing.  It isn't anywhere near fused but healing.  I'm now allowed to bend, lift, and twist within reason.  When he asked where I work he said my job isn't within reason right now.  Hard labor could bend the and break the rods or screws.  Not exactly what I wanted to hear.  I'm bored at home and getting broke.  I was hoping to go back to work.  He told me at least January.  I am starting physical therapy next week.  I'm going to be on a gradual work conditioning plan.  He said slow and easy building back up so I can go back to work.

I won't say Dr. Weinzapfel is cocky, but he is awful proud of his work.  Perhaps because he saw me walking without a limp, he was smiling from ear to ear.  He hadn't seen that before.  I asked about the pain on my right side and he said it was normal to have some irritation until the body adjusts to the hardware.  He said it could also still be some inflamation from the surgery working itself out.  The x-rays look really good nothing wrong there.  They did several different types just to make sure nothing was causing the pain.

I'm thrilled with the results so far, I just really wanted to go back to work.  I'm going to work really hard on physical therapy so maybe I can go back in January.  My next appointment is New Year's Eve.  Hopefully it will bring a fantastic New Year.

Worried

Well I'm starting to get worried now.  As I get further away from my surgery the more the pain in the right side of my back is coming back.  I'm freaking out about bending metal, loosening screws, and non-union of the fusion.  I go to the doctor on Thursday but I don't know what to tell him.  I was doing so good at 2 weeks and now I don't know if I'll ever feel better.  I'm starting to lose my balance more and more.  I don't want to have another surgery.  I want this to work.  I really do need to get back to having exercise, I'm so stiff.  I'm also gaining a lot of weight from inactivity.  There are some that say you lose weight after surgery and some that say you gain.  I've gained and haven't figured out how to stop the gaining.

My husband has just started noticing that I'm really not better.  He caught me today when I lost my balance and he asked how often it was happening.  I didn't know what to tell him.  He wants me to go back to using the walker so I have something to catch myself with when I lose my balance.  I'll update again Thursday after my appointment.  Just so you know I'm still having bouts of depression and crying.  I'm hoping when the doctor lets me do some things that will change.

It's Been Awhile

Well it has been awhile since I updated so here goes.  I'm doing fair, I guess.  I'm still having some good days and some bad days.  I am really struggling with the not smoking thing.  I'm cheating,  I'll smoke for two days then quit again.  I'm stressed beyond belief.  I miss work, ok maybe not work but the people I work with and the social interaction.  My family is under the mistaken belief that I'm able to do whatever I want to.  That makes it really hard because I still need to have help with the housework and they aren't doing it.  I really hurt myself about a week ago because they wouldn't vaccuum so I did it.  I was in pain for days.

The pain is at least different now.  It's more the muscles being so stiff they hurt.  I'll be happy when I can bend and stretch again.  I think that will help with a lot of the pain.  Still obviously depressed.  I'm really concerned about money for the holiday's.  I have two kids that I have never disappointed before and it will upset me greatly if I can't provide them the Christmas they are used to.  They only get spoiled one day a year and that is it. 

I am getting read to put up the Christmas tree.  My oldest son is going to set it up for me.  I'm going to foof out the limbs and decorate the top.  My youngest son is going to put on the bottom ornaments.  I talked them into that at least.