How I'm doing

Well recently I got an email asking how I'm doing since I hadn't updated my blog lately.  The answer is I don't really know.  I went back to work for 2 days and was in so much pain I wondered if the surgery has done any good.  On the other hand I have no pain down my leg anymore which is awesome.  I went through 6 weeks of physical therapy and did really well with it.  I'm not sure why work is so hard.  It could be the getting up and down from the floor, or maybe I'm just so totally out of shape it isn't going well. 

I did go to the doctor yesterday.  Another disappointment.  He looked at my X-rays and wasn't too positive this time.  He is no longer sure my bones will fuse.  It seems they are stalling out.  He said it was possible the bones would start growing and fuse without any problem.  He also said it was possible that they never fuse and I have to have another surgery to replace hardware when it breaks and add more bone material to try to force it to fuse.  Oh and he did say it looks like I am standing straighter now.

We are still not alone in the world.  I've just been depressed lately and didn't want to depress everyone else with my worries, but I am worried.  I don't think I will fuse, but I know I will eventually be ok.  I don't regret my choices.  I still feel better than I have in years and will always be grateful for what my doctor has given me.  I was at a point that I wouldn't even go to the grocery store.  Now I go and don't even think about how long I'll be able to shop.